There's a lot a spouse must endure with a jazz musician. Lonely nights. Lonely New Year's Eves. Mild flirtations. Obsessive practicing. Little money. Just how can a jazz marriage survive?

Three jazz couples share with us their stories of love and their secrets to a successful marriage.

Julie Turner and Tommy Ruskin

Julie Turner, vocalist; Tommy Ruskin, percussionist.

Anniversary: February 11, 1963

Favorite Love Songs: “I'll Never Stop Loving You” and “His is the Only Music that Makes Me Dance”

Performances: Majestic Steakhouse, Monday and Thursday

Recordings Together: Julie Turner's Save That Time, Mike Bennett's KC Memories , and Project Warmth's Warming Kansas City

With only the hushed pounding of drums to accompany her, vocalist Julie Turner sings “You Do Something to Me.” Her voice is flawless. The combined effort is nothing short of amazing.

When finished, Julie points in the direction of the drummer and announces to the audience, “ I think of him when I sing this song.”

As most people in the jazz community know, Julie Turner and drummer Tommy Ruskin have been married for many years. In fact, on February 11 the two will celebrate their 42nd anniversary.

“We wanted to get married on Valentine's Day,” recalls Julie, “but Tommy had a gig that day.”

Tommy and Julie's romance is a classic American love story, complete with smoky night clubs, goodbyes at train stations and even a Doris Day soundtrack.

Summertime

In the early '60s, vocalist Marilyn Maye was the local sensation, packing out the Colony Steakhouse.

“The first time I saw Tommy he was 17 and sitting in with Marilyn,” recalls Julie. “Marilyn introduced us.”

Two years later Tommy and Julie were chosen to work for the summer with pianist Russ Long at Lake Okoboji, Iowa. “Our relationship took hold that summer,” says Julie.

“We were the only single ones on the gig,” says Tommy. “We would go over to the local truck stop and get caramel rolls and play Stan Getz and Ray Charles on the juke box. It was about the time the twist came in—pre-Beatles.”

When the summer ended, Julie went to Omaha with Russ Long while Tommy traveled to the Seattle World's Fair with Marilyn Maye and Sammy Tucker. The separation only fired the romance.

When Tommy returned to Kansas City, he continued to work five nights a week. On weekends he took the train up to Omaha to be with Julie. “I'd get on the train and go to sleep,” says Tommy.

Six months later, the two were married by the Justice of the Peace at the Turner home. Russ Long played the “Wedding March.”

In 1964, the couple had their only child, Brian, who has since become a jazz musician in his own right.

As a new mother, Julie's career slowed down. She performed off and on with Warren Durrett's big band and later more regularly with Steve Miller.

Tommy, however, remained busy. Over the years, he was a regular with Marilyn Maye, Pete Eye, John Elliott, and the Milt Abel Trio. He was instrumental in putting together the rhythm section for the Topeka Jazz Workshop in 1979 in which he continues to back national jazz acts.

In 1989, Tommy started what has become one of the more popular jam sessions in the area: the Saturday afternoon jazz jam at The Levee (now at Jardine's). Except for the jam sessions, the couple rarely performed together.

In 1991, Julie had surgery on her trachea. She took a year off from performing, and it was questionable whether she would sing again. But a year later she was hitting the scene again, this time with Tommy in tow.

They started off hosting a Wednesday night jazz jam at Costello's Greenhouse restaurant in south Kansas City (later it was called Charlie's Lodge). When that ended, they got a regular gig at the Majestic Steakhouse playing two nights a week (Monday and Thursday). They've been there for 11 years. “We're very grateful to Doug Barnard,” says Julie.

Night and Day

“We're together more than most people,” admits Julie. “He's always been my favorite drummer. He really spoils me for the most part.”

Tommy gives Julie credit for their longevity. “She's been very patient with me,” he says.

“We have a great love,” adds Julie. “Every couple has their ups and downs. We just haven't bailed like most couples.”

Tommy adds, “I can't imagine being married to anyone else but her.” Julie's heart melts and she gushes.

Back at the Majestic, Julie sings their song, “I'll Never Stop Loving You,” from the Doris Day movie Love Me or Leave Me . It's so beautifully done that even without listening to the words, you feel its meaning surge deep within.

After 42 years, one thing is very clear: their love—for jazz and each other—is here to stay.

Mike Ning and Sherry Jones—Two of A Kind

Mike Ning, pianist; Sherry Jones, vocalist

Anniversary: March 30, 1986

Favorite Songs: “Why Did I Choose You?,” “The Best Gift,” “How Do You Keep the Music Playing?”

Performances together: Hosts of North Kansas City Jazz Jam on summer weekends, Crown Center during Christmas, and the Great Wolf Lodge on New Year's Eve

Recordings: Mike Ning, Blues for Y.P. Ning and His Wife ; Mike and Sherry, Have You Met Miss Jones ?; Blame It on the Music ; With You ; Tribute to Bill Evans ; Songbird ; How Do You Keep the Music Playing?

Pianist Mike Ning and vocalist Sherry Jones' relationship crosses both generation and cultural differences and rests squarely on one common passion: music.

“In the middle of the night I'll wake up with an idea, and we'll go downstairs and try it,” says Mike. “She's as musically involved as I am, and that's what makes it so great.”

“We're constantly thinking music,” Sherry says.

Very Early

Mike was born in 1940 in Shang Hai, China. When the country became Communist, Mike's family fled to Thailand in 1948. While there, he and his siblings attended a Christian missionary school so they could learn English. One by one, each of his siblings were sent to the United States to attend a North Carolina boarding school sponsored by the Presbyterian Church. Mike came over at 16 years of age.

He joined his brother at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque where he majored in art. Amazingly, Mike began playing piano at coffeehouses despite having only had a year's worth of formal training as a kid. (To this day Mike cannot read music but can play any song in any key.) He met up with bassist Gerry Grable and was soon traveling with his band to El Paso, Texas, to play jazz six nights a week. It was also around this time that he discovered pianist Bill Evans, whose work greatly influenced him.

In 1964, Mike came to Kansas City to work at Hallmark. He put together a trio in no time and before long was part of the 1965 KC Jazz Festival.

Eventually, Mike married his first wife, Ramona, and had two children, Kristina and Billy. He worked days at Hallmark and nights in jazz clubs with singer Kay Dennis.

Have You Met Miss Jones?

While Mike was pursuing life as an adult, Sherry was only a child. In fact, she was born the year Mike started college—an 18-year difference.

Sherry, a Kansas City native, began taking vocal lessons when she was 13 years old. She emulated Barbra Streisand's style, but it was a country rock band that she wound up singing in.

The two met at Hallmark in 1979 while performing in the company choir. Before long, Mike had invited Sherry to sit in with him at Eddy's South where he played solo piano. In 1983, the two got their first weekend gig together at the Fox and Hound. Three years later they were married on Easter Sunday, March 30, in a beautiful outdoor ceremony.

Mike and Sherry performed at the Sunset Grill. The audience loved the humorous back-and-forth banter that accompanied their music. They developed a strong following and became a major force in the jazz community.

“The Sunset Grill was the job of a lifetime,” says Sherry.

While there they hosted the newly formed Kansas City Jazz Workshop concerts. (Mike is currently president of the organization.)

On September 5, 1990, Sherry gave birth to their only child, Timothy, who was born exactly nine months after Sherry's birthday. The song “The Best Gift” was dedicated to their son on their second recording.

Sherry's singing career began to slow down as she became a devoted mother. Their lives began to center around their son, their music, and their church.

Recently, Mike showed his greatest act of love for Sherry. He sold 15,600 albums, 800 movie videos, several reel-to-reel tapes of his own live performances, and all his DownBeat magazines stored in their basement—all this so that Sherry's mother could move in with them.

“Our basement was basically full of his life,” she says. “Of course, he got to hang onto the Bill Evans albums.”

How Do You Keep the Music Playing?

In 19 years of marriage, Mike and Sherry have learned that a good relationship is all about give and take. But they also believe that the secret to their compatibility is their love of the music.

“To be married to a musician takes a special person,” explains Sherry. “Musicians are out until 1:00 a.m. To be married to a musician you have to be one yourself or be very compassionate. If you just don't get it, you're headed for catastrophe.”

Keith and Lee Hill Kavanaugh

Keith Kavanaugh, drummer; Lee Hill Kavanaugh, bass trombone

Anniversary: March 24, 1992

Favorite Song: “My One and Only You” by Johnny Hartman & John Coltrane

Gigs: Keith—Doug Talley Quartet

Lee—Kansas City Jazz Orchestra

Recordings: Keith—Kerry Strayer & the New Kansas City 7's Why Not Now? ; Doug Talley Quartet's Town Topic , Night & Day , Kansas City Suite ; Aurora Consort's Twelve Years in October .

Lee—Diva's Something's Coming , Leave It to Diva ; Boulevard Big Band's Stellar and The Boulevard Big Band .

Funny Valentine

When Lee Hill received a letter in the mail with a photo of her shampoo bottle tied up saying “Come back and get me,” she knew she had snagged the man she loved.

“My brother said ‘anyone who goes to this much trouble must really like you,” she remembers.

She returned to Keith Kavanaugh, who was holding her shampoo—and her heart—hostage.

Beyond the Sea

Lee and Keith met in 1989 performing on a cruise ship in Hawaii. Keith, who had received his degree from the Berklee School of Music, had been performing on drums for the past two years in Kansas City. Lee, who has a degree in trombone performance from Northern Texas University, had just arrived from Dayton. She was the only female musician in the six-piece band.

“When I got on the ship Keith was real nice,” Lee says of her shy husband. “We were best buddies. He's younger than me. I was constantly trying to fix him up with others because I didn't think I was worthy.”

Whether it was bicycling around the island with the band members or practicing chord changes, Keith and Lee were together. She cherished his friendship.

“The day he left I cried because I was going to miss him so bad,” she said. “Finally one of the guys had me call him. We talked.”

I Could Write A Book

Lee found out Keith was going back to Park University in Parkville to finish his degree in art. Lee decided to followed suit and get a degree in journalism. “I've always been a storyteller,” she says. She chose the University of Kansas, which also happened to be in close proximity to Keith.

One day, the two went camping together. With much encouragement from her friends, Lee got up the nerve to finally express her feelings for him. But Keith didn't think a relationship between the two could work. Rejected, Lee packed up and flew back to Ohio. “I knew I didn't want it to end there,” recalls Keith. That's when he sent the now infamous letter and photo.

I've Got the World On A String

The two eloped on November 24, 1992, in Keith's grandparent's church in Parkville. By now Keith had received his degree in art and was performing around town with Kerry Strayer & the New Kansas City 7. Lee was in her final year as a journalism student and was sitting in with big bands.

After Lee graduated, she worked at the Independence Examiner . One day she received a call asking her to go on the road with Diva, the all-woman big band out of New York. They were looking for a bass trombone player.

“I had only been married to Keith for two years,” she said. “I told Keith that if he didn't want me to I wouldn't go. But he said, ‘Yes, of course! You've been waiting for this all your life.'”

Lee traveled four years with Diva, recorded two CDs, and got to perform at Carnegie Hall and the Kennedy Center. She backed up a Who's Who list of celebrities, including Rosemary Clooney, Dexter Gordon, James Brown, and others.

“Keith let me do that!” says Lee.

When Lee returned, she was hired by The Kansas City Star as a jazz writer and later a Metro reporter. In 2001, the two had their first child, Hannah. Soon, Lee was traveling again, this time to Iraq to be embedded with the Third Brigade. Keith encouraged her to go. He stayed home with Hannah.

“I think he is one in a million,” says Lee.

It Had To Be You

While the two have not performed together since Hawaii, they still perform regularly in different bands. Lee is part of the Kansas City Jazz Orchestra. Keith has been with the Doug Talley Quartet for the past 10 years and most recently a new band called Aurora Consort. He also has his own studio where he designs CD covers, websites, and JAM magazine covers. Two days a week Keith paints art in his downtown loft.

The couple agrees that being musicians helps them understand each other. “It's also great to be married to your best friend,” says Lee. “We're still best friends.”

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