JAM: October/November 2000 Issue: Coda

Jazz Musicians Say the Funniest Things...

"Every gig with Benny is like playing in Russia." -- Zoot Sims, when asked what it was like touring Russia with Benny Goodman.

"Don't tell me what sort of New Year to have!" -- curmudgeonly cornetist Ruby Braff, when wished a Happy New Year.

"You played it better when you didn't know it." -- Thelonious Monk to a bass player who told Monk it took him all week to learn a particularly difficult song.

"He's busier than a cat trying to cover up his (poop) on a marble floor." -- Sweets Edison, discussing a drummer with whom he'd recently worked.

"(Screw) that, man; nobody can hear you read." -- Erroll Garner, when teased once about how he couldn't read music.

"I didn't come here to eat." -- Miles Davis, when told by a sideman about a great backstage spread.

"You'll have to ask someone older than me!" -- 97-year-old Eubie Blake, when asked when the sex drive begins to go.

...And So Does "Anonymous"

"Wynton Marsalis can hold all the Lincoln Center Jazz Concerts he wants. But billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms will still prefer Yanni."

"Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford Library, the James Carter Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore."

But Dan Quayle Remains the All-time Champ
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

RETURN TO OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2000 MAIN INDEX

© Kansas City Jazz Ambassadors 1996-2001. All rights reserved.






	Search our site:		Jazz Musicians Say the Funniest Things... "Every gig with Benny is like playing in Russia." -- Zoot Sims, when asked what it was like touring Russia with Benny Goodman. "Don't tell me what sort of New Year to have!" -- curmudgeonly cornetist Ruby Braff, when wished a Happy New Year. "You played it better when you didn't know it." -- Thelonious Monk to a bass player who told Monk it took him all week to learn a particularly difficult song. "He's busier than a cat trying to cover up his (poop) on a marble floor." -- Sweets Edison, discussing a drummer with whom he'd recently worked. "(Screw) that, man; nobody can hear you read." -- Erroll Garner, when teased once about how he couldn't read music. "I didn't come here to eat." -- Miles Davis, when told by a sideman about a great backstage spread. "You'll have to ask someone older than me!" -- 97-year-old Eubie Blake, when asked when the sex drive begins to go. ...And So Does "Anonymous" "Wynton Marsalis can hold all the Lincoln Center Jazz Concerts he wants. But billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms will still prefer Yanni." "Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford Library, the James Carter Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore." But Dan Quayle Remains the All-time Champ "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." RETURN TO OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2000 MAIN INDEX © Kansas City Jazz Ambassadors 1996-2001. All rights reserved.