JAM Magazine: December/January 1999 Issue: Coda

(Still More)
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

"Artists are useful to society because they are so sensitive... They keel over like canaries in coal mines filled with poisonous gas long before more robust types realize that any danger is there." -- Kurt Vonnegut
"I think the public has an innate way of sensing if you're just trying to sell something, or if you really believe in what you're trying to sell." -- George Shearing
"A jazz musician is a juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges." -- Benny Green
"I didn't ask my mother to buy me a trumpet or violin. I started right on the water hose." -- Rahsaan Roland Kirk
"So many drummers, so little time." -- Anon.
"Never play the same thing twice. " -- Miles Davis
"(The guy) has never played the same solo once." -- Phil Woods
"If you gotta ask, you'll never know." -- Louis Armstrong, when asked to define jazz.
"Dealing with (jazz) is still an uphill battle. You need every bit of positive energy."-- Charles Fambrough
"It must have been made in heaven." -- Jimmy Cobb, about Miles' "Kind Of Blue."
"I figure if horses can eat green s**t and be strong and run like m***** f*****s, why not me?" -- Miles Davis on being a vegetarian.
And from the pen of the omniscient yet chronically constipated sage, Maynard LeBlanc...

"Naming a music awards show 'The Klammies' is like calling a Chiefs banquet 'The Fumbles'... which, come to think of it, may not be such a bad idea."

"There are local TV news personalities who are to broadcast journalism what a red nose and rubber clown feet would be to Walter Cronkite."

"The more tedious, sophomoric and annoying something is, the less mocking it will make it go away."

"Anyone who uses a pseudonym when expressing random and inconsequential opinions in this magazine is a spineless weenie."

"Regardless of your stand on Clinton-Lewinsky, one thing is certain: the president lobbed a softball right into the strike zone of his many sanctimonious detractors. Will we ever again see another Kenny G-loving, trouser-dropping, truth-twisting tenor saxophone player in the White House? Ferrrrgitaboutit."

"In October, professional baseball player Mike Piazza signed a seven year contract worth 91 million dollars. A jazzer's perspective: Let's say the average major leaguer makes 500 plate appearances per season, striking out around 70 of those times (80 for Piazza in '98). That means Piazza will get paid $26,000 each time he fans, 1.8 million a year -- 12.7 million over seven years -- for doing what most jazz musicians would do when faced with three 90 mph fast balls. In other words, for each of his whiffs, Piazza will walk away with roughly 260 times the money a dedicated jazz artist who has paid a lifetime of dues will make in an entire four hour job. Are Sosa and McGwire worth that kind of loot? Maybe. Is Piazza? Not even in the ******* ballpark."






	Search our site:		(Still More) THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY "Artists are useful to society because they are so sensitive... They keel over like canaries in coal mines filled with poisonous gas long before more robust types realize that any danger is there." -- Kurt Vonnegut "I think the public has an innate way of sensing if you're just trying to sell something, or if you really believe in what you're trying to sell." -- George Shearing "A jazz musician is a juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges." -- Benny Green "I didn't ask my mother to buy me a trumpet or violin. I started right on the water hose." -- Rahsaan Roland Kirk "So many drummers, so little time." -- Anon. "Never play the same thing twice. " -- Miles Davis "(The guy) has never played the same solo once." -- Phil Woods "If you gotta ask, you'll never know." -- Louis Armstrong, when asked to define jazz. "Dealing with (jazz) is still an uphill battle. You need every bit of positive energy."-- Charles Fambrough "It must have been made in heaven." -- Jimmy Cobb, about Miles' "Kind Of Blue." "I figure if horses can eat green st and be strong and run like m* f**s, why not me?" -- Miles Davis on being a vegetarian.* And from the pen of the omniscient yet chronically constipated sage, Maynard LeBlanc... "Naming a music awards show 'The Klammies' is like calling a Chiefs banquet 'The Fumbles'... which, come to think of it, may not be such a bad idea." "There are local TV news personalities who are to broadcast journalism what a red nose and rubber clown feet would be to Walter Cronkite." "The more tedious, sophomoric and annoying something is, the less mocking it will make it go away." "Anyone who uses a pseudonym when expressing random and inconsequential opinions in this magazine is a spineless weenie." "Regardless of your stand on Clinton-Lewinsky, one thing is certain: the president lobbed a softball right into the strike zone of his many sanctimonious detractors. Will we ever again see another Kenny G-loving, trouser-dropping, truth-twisting tenor saxophone player in the White House? Ferrrrgitaboutit." "In October, professional baseball player Mike Piazza signed a seven year contract worth 91 million dollars. A jazzer's perspective: Let's say the average major leaguer makes 500 plate appearances per season, striking out around 70 of those times (80 for Piazza in '98). That means Piazza will get paid $26,000 each time he fans, 1.8 million a year -- 12.7 million over seven years -- for doing what most jazz musicians would do when faced with three 90 mph fast balls. In other words, for each of his whiffs, Piazza will walk away with roughly 260 times the money a dedicated jazz artist who has paid a lifetime of dues will make in an entire four hour job. Are Sosa and McGwire worth that kind of loot? Maybe. Is Piazza? Not even in the ******* ballpark." RETURN TO DECEMBER/JANUARY 1999 MAIN INDEX ------------------------------------------------------------------------ © Kansas City Jazz Ambassadors 1996-2001. All rights reserved.